allison elaine writes

And Why That’s Actually Good News

I know that sounds bold, but stay with me.

Every day brings opportunities to be annoyed, irritated, or offended. Something won’t go the way you expect. Someone will say the wrong thing. A situation will feel unfair or uncomfortable. And before we even realize it, we’re reacting—internally or externally—often convinced the problem lives outside of us.

But the world was never designed to protect our comfort.

This isn’t about shame or self-condemnation. It’s about ownership. While we can’t control what happens around us, we can take responsibility for how we respond. And that responsibility is where freedom begins.

Scripture tells us that hardship produces something in us when we endure it faithfully (James 1:2–4). Difficulty doesn’t just test our circumstances—it exposes what’s happening beneath the surface. It reveals the places where we’re still reactive, guarded, or operating from unhealed wounds. Growth doesn’t come from avoiding discomfort; it comes from allowing God to meet us in it.

In my own journey, the Lord has done significant work renewing my heart and mind. Along the way, He also led me toward practical tools that supported that healing. One of those has been brainspotting—a therapeutic approach that helps the brain and nervous system reprocess experiences that still trigger present-day reactions.

As the saying goes, “If it’s hysterical, it’s historical.” In other words, when our emotional response feels bigger than the moment calls for, it often points to an unresolved wound from the past rather than the present situation itself. These reactions aren’t something to dismiss or shame—they’re invitations to slow down, get curious, and allow God to bring healing to places that still carry pain.

As I sought the Lord—paired with nervous system work, grounding practices, and honest self-awareness—I noticed something shift. My reactions softened. The constant internal agitation quieted. My focus moved from managing the world around me to getting out of God’s way, allowing His presence—not my defensiveness—to lead.

I’m not saying I never feel irritation or frustration. I’m saying I’m no longer ruled by it.

There is real freedom when we stop asking, “Why is this happening to me?” and start asking, “What is this revealing in me?”

I have a friend whose family uses a simple phrase when they realize they’re the central issue in a situation. Instead of deflecting or doubling down, they pause and say, “It’s me. I’m the problem.” Not with shame—just honesty. Every time I hear it, I’m reminded how much freedom lives on the other side of ownership.

Call to Action

The next time you feel irritated, offended, or reactive, pause before responding. Ask the Lord what’s being exposed—not to condemn you, but to heal you. Pay attention to patterns. Invite God into both your spiritual formation and your emotional awareness.

Freedom often begins the moment we stop defending our reactions and start surrendering them.